WEIRD AL YANKOVIC - THE ESSENTIAL. DAY 38

WEIRD AL YANKOVIC - THE ESSENTIAL

Weird Al has a place closer to my heart than most. He takes the piss, makes me laugh and plays the polka. What more could you want? As a kid who wore the videotape thin watching Michael Jackson’s BAD video obsessively I give props to a dude that pays just as much attention so he can imitate and pay homage. 

At home most of the singing I do is my own lyrics to other people’s songs. Weird AL is my comedic muzac hero. I worship his chutzpah...his is one of a few chosen false idols. So tonight I’m going to see his show.

This blog post comes in 2 parts...this is the first! 

MICHAEL JACKSON - THRILLER 25th ANNIVERSARY. DAY 37

MICHAEL JACKSON - THRILLER 25th ANNIVERSARY

Let’s just take a moment to get down on our knees and thank God for Michael Jackson. While I’m down there I’m going to bang my fists on the ground and cry foul at how wrong it is that The King of Pop is no longer. Michael Jackson holds a special place in my life. He was my first block-mount poster...my first concert...my first real love. He is the reason I started choreographing my own routines in the lounge room. He is the basis for most of my dance moves, my nonsensical singing. I had the Vinyl original of this album and the opening song - Wanna be startin something has all sorts of lyrics I don’t understand. Is Michael Jackson saying ‘you’re a vegetable...you’re a vegetable...you’re a hee hee hee...you’re a vegetable..? Because those are the words I sing. 

I saw the BAD tour in 1987. I was so far away and little I needed Binoculars to make out the zombie backing dancers. It was the greatest moment of my life. None of the kids at school believed me, I was quite happy about that. 

When I found out MJ had died I cried for a week straight. I continued to cry randomly for months afterwards. Listening to this album is bittersweet. 

DAMIEN RICE - O. DAY 36

DAMIEN RICE - O

I’m not really into Damien Rice. He falls into an area populated by David Gray, Rufus Wainright and Everclear. Artists everybody else seemed to be into but I’d probably just wait for the best of. I’ve already got Everclear’s greatest hits and it was worth it. Rufus Wainright is much better than I give him credit for but he’s not on my radar. 

I bought this album because I was at the filming of one of those hideous talent shows and someone used The Blowers Daughter as their audition song. He was so good that I went out and bought this album. While Damien Rice is good, this talent show guy was way better. I don’t quite know how to process that. 

Rest of the album ok...but I’m not one for  acoustic, wrist slitting melancholy. 

CHARLOTTE CHURCH - CRAZY CHICK. DAY 35

CD SINGLE SUNDAY


CHARLOTTE CHURCH - CRAZY CHICK

Free CD from the radio station throw out box. This reminds me of 2 things.

1. I’m the only person I know willing to admit I like Charlotte Church, this song or anything else by Charlotte Church. Likewise I’m probably the only person I know, who knows who Charlotte Church is.

2. The cover of the CD reminds me of the times when you’ve put on weight from being in a shitty desk job, you feel as though every passing stranger is judging your muffin top and the absence of positive endorphins in your life leaves you desperately searching for salvation from your grotesque physique everywhere. I stared at Charlotte’s promo picture for an abnormal period of time willing myself to look like her. That’s desperate indeed.

Good song.

BEN FOLDS FIVE - WHATEVER AND EVER AMEN. DAY 34

BEN FOLDS FIVE - WHATEVER AND EVER AMEN

Shudder. Just seeing the cover of this album makes me want to curl up in a ball and hibernate. It reminds me of a wet winter and general ickiness. I was trying to get rid of a boyfriend at the time without doing any of the breaking up myself. I figured if I brought it up in conversation enough he may take the bait. For example I would ask casually if he thought we were a well suited couple or if we even had anything in common. But, to no avail. Then I tried the standard ‘make them hate you’ approach which just made me and him feel confused and bad. Next came the innuendo of cheating which I didn’t actually do but I wanted him to think I was. Still, no bites. Finally, I had to request a break and then extend the break into a break up. 

Brick was on the radio 48 times a day and I could get it stuck in my head for days at a time. I am notorious for singing along to songs while having no idea what the words or meaning are so when I found out Brick was about getting an abortion I was astounded. I missed that for the first 8 months of the songs release. 

Best track on the album is number 1: One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces - for reasons that are self explanatory. I've been to Ikea today so I'm tired. I shall end on this note though: I have no idea why I own this album. i've never bought anything by Ben Folds in my life. Strangely enough I think I got it in the fallout of a breakup.

SADE - THE BEST OF SADE. DAY 33

SADE - THE BEST OF SADE

Sade’s voice is so smooth it feels wrong, almost irritating to listen to. I have one story about Sade. This album reminds me of the trip I have mentioned previously where I was forced to chaperone/bag handle for my grandmother on a European sojourn of sorts. On our condensed tour of the Euro highlights - Paris, Rome, Dover - we travelled Autobahns and cobble-stoned roads on a bus that gave prompted travel sickness from me within 2 mins of driving. Every time we stopped I needed to bolt out for air/vomit. 

The best part of the stops were the awesome truck stops. In Italy the police had machine guns and hung out at truck stops from what I saw. Certainly different from the pensioners in a caravan I’m used to at highway stops in Australia. 

These stops had more than just conveniences. They were department stores complete with food, clothes and audio visual. I always bought diet coke and cashews (a balanced combination) so I amused myself with the random and wonderful items people would bring back on the bus from their roadside shopping trips. One girl who had the body of a supermodel and the head of a bogan would buy clothes and jewelry. One person bought knick knacks or playing cards for their grand kids and a small olive skinned girl once bought this Sade Best Of for her walkman. Yes, that’s right her cassette tape walkman. I took mine too. REM’s document and a mix tape with Roxy Music and Pearl Jam were on high rotation. 

When I saw this girl buy the Best of Sade at an Italian truck-stop I wondered of she listened to it for the whole trip or just used it as a soundtrack to the best bits, like the colosseum or gypsy spotting! 

RUN DMC - TOUGHER THAN LEATHER. DAY 32

RUN DMC - TOUGHER THAN LEATHER

I don’t believe I’ve ever listened to this album before. I also don’t believe I know where it came from. My first assumption when I find an object, piece of clothing, book or CD that’s not mine is that it came to me in the fall out of a previous relationship. There are several clues: first, an orange sticker with the number #42 in the top right corner. Second, the initials JG in black texter on the bottom right corner. What could all of this mean? I don’t have an ex or a friend with those initials. The number 42 doesn’t mean anything in particular. Next possibility is an impulse purchase at Cash Converters by myself or my Dad. Why though, would my Dad by a Run DMC record? 

Run DMC reminds me of my first year of Uni when I wore nothing but a knock off black Calvin Klein shirt and black Adidas tracksuit pants. I was fatter then and my muffin top appreciated the elasticised waist. That Jason Nevins remix of ‘Its Like That’ was huge at the time. It was like that song never went away. Nowadays I know more about ‘Run’s House’ from a bad MTV reality show than this actual album. WORD.